Please don't feed the trolls

Recently, an aspiring author friend of mine started putting up chapters of his story Heart of Winter  on his blog/Facebook page and someone came along and anonymously posted a comment about how he should stick to his day job, yadda yadda yadda. While it being totally untrue (I've read his first novel. It's GOOD!) it's also ridiculous and quite cowardly in my opinion.

Since this is the internet, trolls are pretty common. People feel brave hiding behind a monitor I suppose.  Many will say people troll because they're jealous and that might very well be true, but I think some people are just down right mean. They have miserable lives and feel like they have to spread that misery. Damn bullies are everywhere. Even on the internet.

If you really don't like something, far be it from me to tell you not to comment, but be an adult about it. Don't be cowardly and post as anonymous. Back up your position. Did you find a bunch of typos? Is my grammar poor? Are my characters one dimensional? Do I have plot holes big enough to drive a Mac Truck through?  To just say "You suck" tells me you're just jealous and/or mean.

If you've got problems with a troll, don't feed them more ammo. To argue back is what most of them want.  They want to debate and keep reminding you how much they think you "suck".  You can do one of two things; either ignore them completely or I  find jokingly agreeing with them and refusing to get angry works for me.

Them: You suck!
Me: I KNOW RIGHT?! It's amazing that they still allow me space on the interwebs!
Them: uhh yeah, uhh you are..umm yeah...you SUCK!
Me: Totally! I can suck a battery through a garden hose!...oh wait, is that not what you meant?
Them: ....YOU'RE NO FUN!
Me: I know
Them: *logs off*

Like the occasion bad review, you're probably going to get a troll here and there. Don't let it get to you and don't take it personally. Let their comments roll off your back and move on. Like all bullies, they'll get bored and soon crawl back under their bridges to wait for another goat who tries to cross.

Want to be included?

We interrupt your Friday afternoon countdown to bring you a contest of sorts. A morbid kind of contest that is. It's not even really a contest (unless I get some crazy out pouring of interested people).

Here's the deal. I spoke with my cover illustrator/designer today and we discussed some ideas for the back cover. Now you're thinking, "Hey, aren't you releasing an e-book? Why do you need a back cover at all?" I decided that in addition to the e-book, I'm going to offer a paperback version using POD (print on demand), therefore, a back cover will be needed. Since I will have what I know will be a beautiful piece of art, I will also add it in the back pages of the e-book after the author bio and pic. This way everyone can see it if they click far enough.

One of the ideas we came up with was an image of "the book".  The book is this horrible little record of all the lives our Angel of Death has taken. It lists the person's name and cause of death. I am going to recreate the book to take a photograph of it and then my designer extraordinaire will work her magic and add it to the back cover, under the box with the summary.

While I can certainly make up all the names and causes of their demise, I thought it'd be fun to get others involved. This is where you guys come in.  Should you be interested in gracing the back cover of Near Death I will need you to leave your name and cause of death in the comments below (I told you it was kind of morbid). If you want to use first and middle initials and then your last name (so your whole name isn't out there for the world to see) that would be perfectly acceptable. As far as the cause of death goes, I'm looking for some creativity, but remember:

1) this takes place in North America so you won't get too many folks being mauled by angry (hipster) koalas 
2) it needs to fit on the line!

If you really want to participate but are leery about putting your name out, say so in the comments. Not all the names will be seen and not all the causes of death will be seen. Below is something I whipped together quickly to give you an idea of what the back will kind of look like.As you can see, the summary text will be blocking out parts of the picture, so I will work your information into the areas where the whole name won't be seen. You'll get the satisfaction of knowing your name is on there without having to worry about people trying to hunt you down or steal your identity or whatnot.

So if you want to join in the fun and be included, remember I need your name and cause of death left in the comments of this post. You have until Monday August 15th to get it in!

The self publisher's query

So, you think that by self publishing you get out of that dreaded query writing task, huh? Sorry to disappoint, but that's not exactly true.

Being self published means you're not selling yourself (or should I say your work, as we're not prostitutes) to an agent, but to your audience. This is where the self publisher's version of a query comes into play, although it's referred to as back cover copy or a summary. Some people call it a blurb (which I also thought it to be, but it seems blurb stands more for the quotes and praise from other authors or publications that have read an ARC* of the book).

In a query you have to catch the agent's attention, first with the appealing summary and then by going into a little more detail about the genre of the book, how long it is and perhaps some information on your writing background and your other publications.

For the self publisher, most people won't even buy a print copy and opt for an e-book version. That means your summary is going to be front and center on your book's Amazon or Smashword page (or wherever you're selling your books). The cover art will probably be the first thing to draw prospective readers in, but once they click on it to get a better look, your hook, that first line, had better be something amazing. Something to make that browser stop and read further, rather than click along to the next book.  You have to engage your reader as the query would an agent, otherwise you won't be selling very many books.

Now lean in close so I can tell you a secret.  A little closer. I promise I showered AND brushed my teeth today. Ahh perfect. Here goes. WRITING A SUMMARY IS FREAKING HARD! 

Back in January of this year I talked about how writing a query letter was not an easy task, well this is the same damn thing! You have to condense your thousands of words into a mere couple of hundred that will intrigue and excite perspective buyers. You can't give everything away (it's not a synopsis) and you can't be too vague. There has to be a happy medium and I'm telling you, it's not simple. I've written at least a dozen for Near Death, sometimes tweaking things other times doing total re-writes.

You cannot do a half-assed job. It has to be as perfect as you can get it. You can have people review your books and recommend them to others, but even a glowing recommendation is not going to sell many books if the author can't explain to their audience what the book is about. Treat it like any other part of your manuscript. Edit it, ask others to read it, edit it again. I promise you, it will be beneficial to you and your book sales.

Now go get on that, because it's going to be a struggle and you will want to leave enough time before taking your author photo for the hair you rip out during the process to grow back.



*for those not in the know, ARC stands for Advanced Reading Copy

Should you censor yourself?

The lovely Johanna Harness recently pointed me to a blog post by author Stacia Kane who talks about how being published changes everything.  It's a very interesting read and I suggest you check it out, but it got me wondering if the same concerns apply to self published authors as much as they do traditional ones.

Stacia talks about how if someone has posted a negative review about one of her books and her agent went on to sign that person, she would be hurt and upset and less likely to contribute a comment for their book or help them in other ways.  I can understand that and although everyone's entitled to an opinion, if you're looking to get signed by an agent, perhaps you need to keep those opinions under wraps.

When it comes to someone who is self publishing, I'm not sure it's as necessary. That's NOT to say you should be going around giving nasty reviews. Not at all, even if you hated the book.  As previously discussed, you should be able to point out the good stuff along with the constructive criticisms.

While no one wants to make enemies, I think it's important to be honest if you're going to review. I very much dislike the trend I hear going on in self publishing circles about some authors and friends giving nothing but five star reviews, even if they haven't read the book, just for the marketing/publicity of it all (I will blog more about this in detail at a later date). What happens when someone buys the book and sees it's not even close to 5 star material? That's disappointing and a turn off and they may very well not purchase anymore books from that author.

In the world of self publishing, where authors lack agents, and often editors, to tell them if things should be cut or rearranged, etc., I think reviews by other writers are helpful. We obviously know what goes into the process of writing and publishing a book and personally, I'd rather bring something up that will help the author better hone their craft, then pretend everything about the book was fab. Might this make me some enemies? Maybe. Might it make people take my words the wrong way? It's possible. Might it get used against me in the future? Who knows, but I would rather be known for my honesty and if that's going to come back and bite me in the ass, so be it.

With Twitter and Facebook and all the other social networking sites where we're building our fan bases, I certainly think you ought to be cautious with the things you say. You don't want to come off as unprofessional or nasty in anyway,  but that doesn't mean you can't be yourself. I know I mention her often, but author Hannah Moskowitz always comes off as very real to me in her blog posts and Twitter feed. I also follow her reviews on Goodreads and she's honest there too. I respect that.

As posted before, you can't please everyone all of the time. Even if you're being honest and "nice" about things, there are still going to be people who won't like you, who don't agree and who may come back and argue with you over things. People are different and have different opinions. It's bound to happen, but remember there are times when it's better if you bite your tongue (or tie up your fingers as we're not normally speaking out loud to these folks) or step away from the conversation completely.  While you have a right to your opinions you need to remember that you are also trying to network and make connections and you need to be professional while doing so. Sometimes it's just not worth the possible backlash.

It's said that even bad publicity is good publicity, but do you really want to be known as the nasty unprofessional author? Probably not. I don't really think that will help you sell books or endear you to your fellow authors. Make sure you stop down and use your brain; use common sense and think before hitting that send or publish post button. Remember things linger on the internet and could come back to haunt you.

Books Read in 2011 - July

Not a big reading month this month. 1) busy busy writing! 2) A Dance with Dragons took me longer than I expected. Monster of a book!  Also, I'm up to just shy of 100 books for the year so far at a count of 98. Woo!

Anyhow, here's the list and ratings! As always, if you have questions or comments on anything, please feel free to ask!

Rating system:

	Outstanding. You need to run out & get this NOW!
	Great!
	Good.
	Meh. I was not much of a fan.
	Under no circumstances should you waste your time with this.

July

Title	Author	Rating
Out of Time	- Monique Martin
Karma	- Cathy Ostlere
Leaving Paradise (re-read)	- Simone Elkeles
Forever	- Maggie Stiefvater
A Dance with Dragons	- George RR Martin
Beautiful Disaster	- Jaime McGuire
Girl in the Steel Corset	- Kady Cross
Being Human (beta read)	- Patricia Lynne
Specials	- Scott Westerfeld

Are authors celebrities?

If your favorite author was walking down the road, would you recognize him or her? I'm not sure I would. Maybe Stephen King, but even then I doubt I'd be sure enough to walk up to him and ask. So, a great many authors are household names, on the NYT Best Seller list, etc. but most of us have no idea what they look like.  You don't see them in tabloid magazines (for the most part), nor do they really come up on those celebrity gossip shows like TMZ.  So are they really celebrities? I certainly think so. It's just a different kind of celebrity. A quiet kind.

To me, authors are my rock stars. To talk with them on Twitter and whatnot gives me that fan girl kind of thrill, but personally, I'm not a crazed obsessed kind of fan over anyone; author, actor, musician, etc.  I think the internet, with Twitter and message boards and author webpages, etc., lets the readers and fans get to better know their favorite authors.  They get to interact with them and learn some of the more mundane things that people seem to want to know about celebrities: favorite colors, what kind of music they like, if they're married with families, etc.  Who knows what will come of it. I have seen some fan obsession on different forums already (aren't we all glad panties can't be thrown at us through the internet? ^_^).

Maybe sometime soon, well known authors will be getting more recognition in the streets. I'm a pretty private person, but I have to admit that I would definitely get some kind of thrill from being recognized in the mall by a random fan.  I would never want it to become some crushing mob of screaming fans though (and I don't really foresee that happening for authors), nor do I want someone standing outside my house snapping pictures of me haul out garbage in my pjs. That's just scary folks and not in any way news worthy.

One thing I noticed lately that could be keeping authors from finding celebrity (besides those that are self publishing and not editing first...) is that e-books seem to lack a picture of the author! There might be the little blurb about who they are and what their background is, but there's no accompanying image anymore. While I kind of hate pictures of myself, I decided I'm still going to add one with my book bios. Maybe some super fan will memorize my mug and corner me on the street for an autograph someday!  I think I'd like that.

Book Review - The Peace Corpse: Misadventures in Love and Africa

Today's Q. & A. is something a little different for me, a memoir! It's about author Andy Christofferson's two year journey in Tanzania, Africa volunteering with the Peace Corps.

 
Amazon Synopsis/Description:
 I may very well be the only Peace Corps Volunteer in the history of the organization to sincerely, foolishly, and romantically propose marriage to a local girl...and have her say no.

In addition to my failed romance, I taught advanced chemistry at an all-girls school, kayaked my way into Zimbabwe, and learned just how little water a human being can survive on. I also once woke up completely covered with ants.

My goal with this work is to give a very raw, straightforward, analytical - but also humorous - picture of both what a typical Peace Corps experience is like, as well as offer some insight into the current conditions of life in East Africa, going beyond the superficial mentality of "look at the stupid things those crazy Africans do" and trying to explain why they do the things that to us, from our Western perspective, seem strange. Because there is a reason.

Personal reaction:

 The Peace Corpse: Misadventures in Love and Africa was a really interesting read about a Montana boy's journey to Tanzania for a 2 yr stint with the Peace Corps. Honest, interesting, educational and entertaining. Written in a familiar conversational style. Although the book was largely written after his "tour" was over, original emails that were sent to friends and family at the time pepper the book to lend authenticity along with amusing quotes from the author and others he met on his journey.

If you've ever been curious as to what goes on the Peace Corps, this memoir gives the reader a good, detailed idea of one man's journey.

Questions:

Q:  Is this the first book you’ve written?

Technically no. That would be a high fantasy novella I wrote when I was 16—which of course has not been read by anyone but me. This is, however, the first book I’ve written that I’ve been foolish and egotistical enough to put out there for other people to see.

Q:  What prompted you to write about this experience?

Ants. Also, there are a lot of misconceptions out there about both the Peace Corps and about Africa in general. My goal with this book was to help people understand more about the nature of the organization and the experience a Volunteer goes through during their service. In addition I wanted to explain a little about the culture of East Africa and try and look at the reasons people did things that to us often seemed illogical or counterintuitive.

But I use lots of humor to keep it interesting.

Q:  It was a very honest retelling. Did you ever consider leaving out some of the more…embarrassing parts?

No, not really. One thing I observed in Tanzania was that so many problems were caused by secrecy, by people who withheld or covered up the truth. It bothered me a lot, and it seemed to me that I would be defeating the purpose of everything I was trying to do if I withheld information or left anything out. Also, I apparently have no shame.

Q:  What’s the one thing you want your readers to come away with after reading your memoir?

A greater understanding of the problems facing Africa. The entire continent is going to be dealing with complicated issues for many years to come, and as much as I love to joke around, this is something I do take seriously. I don’t think trying to look at the problem from a solely Western perspective is going to give us the answers we need, and if I can do even a little to help people see things from an African angle, I can feel like I’ve accomplished something.

Q:  If you could have changed any one thing about your experience in Tanzania, what would it have been?

If I said that here I’d be giving too much away. So I’ll settle for the number two choice: getting dysentery.

Q:  What prompted you to make the “Stan” character?

Everything that “Stan” says or does in the book was said or done by a real person, but it seemed needlessly distracting to introduce each one as an individual if they had no further role in the narrative. Thus “Stan” is a “stand-in” for all the people who crossed my path, said or did one or two funny or interesting things, then went on their way.

Q: Who are your writing influences?

Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Jose Cuervo. For humor I look to Dave Barry, Patrick F. McManus, and Scott Adams, but for more serious stuff Hemingway, D.H. Lawrence, and Somerset Maugham.

Q: Did you read a lot of other memoirs before deciding to write your own?

No, should I have? Well, yeah, I guess I probably should’ve. To be honest I never intended to write a memoir when I started out, but I wanted to include some events that really occurred and I realized that unless I specifically stated that it was non-fiction, some of the things that actually happened to me would just seem contrived and poor plotting if they were to appear in a work of fiction by a novice writer.

Q: What can we expect from you next?

Peace Corpse: The Musical. I’m also releasing a collection of short stories in the beginning of August, entitled Bits of Paper—which is kind of ironic since it’s an ebook.

Q.  Where can fans contact you and where can they purchase the book?

I would love to be contacted through my fake publishing company, Videlicet Productions, because that page could use some more hits. The book is available as an ebook or paperback through Amazon, and in a variety of electronic formats at Smashwords. I also have a blog specifically dedicated to the book, with lot of pictures and funny quotes, here.

Q: Lastly, for fun, if they made a movie out of The Peace Corpse, who would you want to play you and why?

Orlando Bloom. Not just for the uncanny likeness, but also because they’d have to use expensive CGI to make him look 22 years old, virtually guaranteeing that the movie wouldn’t be a financial success. Then, 30 years from now, future hipsters can talk about Peace Corpse: The Movie as the greatest underrated film of all time, “but you probably haven’t heard of it.”